Well Benn my beautiful son it is 10 years that you have gone but shall never be forgotten not as long as I am on this earth.I miss you all the time my ove for you has always been and shall always be.Your Mother forever and ever and beyond.

Happy Birthday my son how I miss you today you would have been 45 and you where born on a Wednesday as well.It seems like yesterday I help you in my arms and now you are gone.I know you told me you would always be by my side but I so with I could hug you and kiss you today.In my minds eye I can see you through all the years but I would give everything I have just to see you again.May be someday our spirits shall meet again.I love you forever and beyond you mom.

My Dearest Son Benn I am so sad that you are not here with us I miss you so much everyday.So this is another Christmas with out you how my heart aches.I feel this way always at this time of the year yet is was the time you loved so much and gave so much of yourself to others so because I keep a happy face to your brothers but I die inside cause you are not here. I shall keep a candle for you all day just maybe you can see it shining. Love you forever and beyond You Mother

I am just missing you today so much it like my heart is in my throat all day God why did you have to die I have so much to share with you I wish you where here but than maybe you can see me you did tell me you would be at my side. I love you so much my beautiful son you are always in my thought. I love you forever and beyond You mother always.

Another Easter is here and how I miss you.I know that you are with me I found the most the best gift you have ever given me. I was changing the potted fig tree the one with the pot you stenciled for me oh so long ago as I went to lay the pot down to take out the plant I fond the masking tape you put on it .It was dated June 15 2007 and you put stenciled for my mother with all my love Benn.I cried I was so sad that you are not here and than Nathan said think of it this way grandma you found it could mean Benn is still here with you.What a gift it has faded but that I left it on the pot and put the fig tree you had in it it has grown so much but its a long time since you left us that was the last June you where here. 2008.God how . I miss you Benn love you for ever and ever and beyond.Mom

Happy Birthday my son how I miss you today you would be 44 years old .How I loved making you a party you always gave me so much joy I am so glad to have all the memories of you.I shall be spending my day with thought of you and how much I miss you why oh why did this happened I fell so broken on days like this.You left me way too soon but I must go on even when you are not here.So today on you special I am going to have a candle going all day.Love you forever and beyond Mom

My dear son its five years today it was on a Thur as well that you left oh how I miss you I shall never understand why this happened but it did.I just don"t know how one lives with a broken heart you are in my thoughts all the time I shall love you forever and beyond. Mom

Well My Benji it is your brothers birthday tomorrow he is going to be 39 he is now older than you how I wish you could be here he miss you so much. I know the other he put a glass of wine for you by your ashes I though that was so so sweet you have he misses so much oh who oh why did you have to die. My life has such a hole like nothing I have ever know life is just not fair why did you have to go. I know you always said you would be by my side but how wish I could just touch you for a moment.just to hold you and kiss you sweet face my son. Love you forever and beyond Your Mother.

Here is another holiday I really feel you loss today but I am going to do what have always done on Easter I am making my deep fried cookies I shall set a few out for you today I know you are not here to eat them but how you loved them I am making ham like I always do I am hoping Mel and Nathan are going to be able to come over you brother is working tonight so he wont be here and so is Justin. We really miss you at thses special times but I thank god for all the memories I have of you and the times we shared when we did this together you always help me in the kitchen and to clean up after unlike you brothers and dad disappered as soon as we where done eating ,but it brings a smile on my face to remember our happy times we shared. So on this day I shall cry just a little for you as I always do but life must go on till we meet again if we ever shall I am feeling like heaven is not really a place it is a made up to make grief more endurable tolerable Love you forever my Benji I miss you so always you Mother .

Happy Happy Birthday to you Benn if there is a heaven I know you are going to have a good time today ok, I shall miss you today You candle is lite for you now miss you my sweetness. Love Mom

Well I missed you again more than I can say this is now the 4th Christmas that you are gone.How I wished you could have been here Justin Nathan and Dawson with Daniel of course we had a brunch this year it was so nice<br /><br /> On the menu we had your grandma's french toast how you loved that Daniel too,I told the 3 boys that it was your great grandma made it the best. We had eggs benny I got up early to cook the ham the only thing missing was you I so miss you.<br /><br /> I called you brother you have missed so much Ashley now has 2 kids a boy and a girl they are so sweet Morgan is such a sweet boy reminds me of you so much talks a mile a minute just like you did.Kara cried when she first saw me but than she does not know me I am going to see them in spring I want to be there for her 1st birthday.I'll give her a big hug and kiss from you ok.<br /><br /> I love you my son I am going to go rest now everyone is gone so I'll have a sleep and hope to see you alive and well in my dream.Love you forever my beautiful child. Mom

Oh god how I miss you my son this time of the year is I really hard for me my sweet boy. I miss you calling me telling what you did and most of all I miss you helping me get ready for Christmas I cry for you way to much at this time of the year I can not believe you been gone now 4 xmas's. No one understands how I feel my heart and soul ache but I must be here with out you I do not know why no mother ever should have to have a child and than lose them this is the greatest sorrow that one can have. But sweetie I know that if you knew how sad I was at this time of the year you would say come on mom you know I am with you I told you I always would be.Yes Benn I know you are beside me always you are apart of my very being my beautiful first born son I love you ............Forever I shall love you your ............Mother.

My dear son I so wished you where here to night to have dinner with us brother Daniel and Justin and Nathan where here had a wonderful dinner with them chicken and the whole works you know your mom, the boys said grandma you make the best pumpkin pie,We miss you at times like this.My heart aches to have you here but your ashes are right in dining room so you you are here we just can not see you is all. I always light a candle for you sweetie.Love you forever and beyond Mom.

Another year and Easter is here these are the times I miss you most I sat out side for dinner .I just sat there enjoying the sunshine and thoughts where with you like so many days the hardest thing in my life is to be here with out you.Happy Easter Benji I wish you where here to paint some eggs darn how I miss you my sweet boy.Love you forever and beyond. Mom

Donna Drury April 2, 2011 I have known your mother for a couple of years now and not a day goes by that she doesn't mention your name and how you filled her heart with love. She has shown me all the wonderful gifts you gave her and made for her. You gave and did so many wonderful things that left beautiful memories behind for her to talk about and show to her friends. She does light a candle everynight for you , I have seen this. Through her eyes I feel I know a little about you and I am sorry that I did not have the chance to meet this wonderful gift.

I am always thinking of you ......you are still the king of my life.. love you always

I can't believe your gone. Your mother and I just connected after over 18 Years ago. I will always remember you as a kind and gentle soul. Children are just to prescious to loose. Myrna F.

You always loved me I know this just by all the things you did for me it is written in the lines that you have written here one of the many reason I miss you so much.Love you forever and beyond.Mom

I just watched a video of you oh so long ago coloring eggs with Justin and Nathan and Mel, Ashley.The boys where oh so small than and it was dated 1994. you where still here with us. My soul aches for you on special days like this.I have my many dreams about you. I am so happy that I have the video camara now to be able see you alive and well.I am off to see Ashley,Lori and my sweet little Morgan he is so much like you when you where his age I often wonder if he is not you.One know not all what the universe holds and all its secrets. I love you with all my being missing you just as much today as the 1st day you left me here without on this earth maybe I miss you even more. Love you forever and beyond.Your Mother forever.

My baby you shall forever be.<br /> Now quickly time pass by it is now three birthdays,I could not celebrate with you. Today is your birthday and 41 you would have been,how I wish you where here with me but that is never to be again. I can not sleep my heart aches for I miss you so.I wonder on days like this how I have ever made it with out you in my life,I really don't know how. I miss your voice and your phone calls I miss you calling me hey mom how was your day I miss your sweet kiss I always got on my cheek when ever I would see you,and you never failed to call me to say good night.I would give anything to have just one mintue with you.To hear you to see you just to hug you one more and see your smile.Your beautiful eyes that I gave you. So on this special day I know you are here in spirit I can feel you even now,like you sitting beside and smiling and I know you are whispering hey mom I love you trust that I am here with you.I do my son I do.Hold my hand today and some how ley me know you are my angel now.You are my son forever and beyond.Love you with all my heart and soul.Mom The picture I posted you is your first birthday.

I was listening to a song today and it reminded me of a song we used to listen to . . . over and over and over again. It brought me back to a time we were walking to my house and we both had the walkmans on (on the same song, no doubt) and the crazy little dance you'd do. It was done in fun but it always conveyed a sense of you being full of life . . . full of zeal for the moment. I have seen a few glimpses of you on Campus. Oh, I know you probably never were at the U of S . . . it's just that I saw some guys who looked very much like you, and that made my heart jump. Yet I knew it wasn't possible that it was you, and a second look revealed for sure that it wasn't. Every now and again, the memories trickle in, and I grieve once again. Yet, on the brighter side, I am thankful for those memories . . . many of them immediately make me smile, and I will always keep them close to me. Richard

My Dear Son Benn I wish you where here I know I keep saying that but my heart aches for you I never would have though I would ever be with out you, Like Ken said send us your light and be our guide when we loose our way now you are my angel in heaven. So another new year has come but my joy is not the same its like days are just days they do not have the same meaning as they did when you where my earth angel. I toast you and who you where in my life and to your life even if it was shorter than I wished. Our love that shall never die to our Mother and Son bond that we shared shall never be broken not even in death.You are a part of me as I am a part of you so till its time to see you again I raise my glass to me first born son who was the best thing that ever happen to me.I'll love you forever I'll love you always forever my child you well be. Mom

Susan Taylor

14 years ago

Oh Benji its 2 years that you are gone today no words can explain how I feel today I miss love you miss you my only hope is that one day I'll see you again.Love you forever and beyond your Mom. Jan 10 /10

Oh Benn, How quickly time goes bye. Things here are still the same, working in film and loving Curtis and Zoe, who has gotten so big, 12 already. Who knew I would have a family and have to be responsible, oh the carefree days of our youth how did you pass so quickly.. Wait a minute did this all happen so I would be older then you one day... You trickster.... Anyways, as you watch down on me send some light somedays when you know I'm being an idiot and need some direction. You know how I am, some days we all could use a little pick up to remind us what is important, and trust me you are the one who sees all now. Well friend you know I'm bad at this so till the next time know I'm thinking of you and missing you and all the times we share. Say hi to Brad for me when you see him.. XoXo Ken

Well Benn, what can I say except I miss you. More than you'll ever know...who am I kidding-you know. I can't belive almost 2 years have passed since we held hands and chatted. My last memory of you was sitting beside the bed as you dozed singing you a lullaby that I used to sing to Ayden-and now to Makenna. I get choked up everytime I hum it but it made you calm. You would be so proud of my children Benn. Ayden is so big now-4 1/2 and Makenna is 14 months old. She would have loved you and I know Ayden misses you. He sometime asks about Uncle Benn when he sees a picture of you and me on my wedding day. When the memories hurt too much Wil just squeezes me and assures me that I will see you again one day. I love you so much and I hope you see that. Love Terri

Well, yesterday was my first world AIDS day. That day sort of had meaning before, but now, knowing you are one of the many remembered, it has more meaning now. Part of me wanted to leave the chapel as we remembered. It was supposed to be a joyous day. I lead the Annual Advent Vespers service last night, and so it's kinda ironic that through remembering AIDS victims (and those struggling with it) the sun set and our community entered into anticipation of Christ's birth, a birth that changed the course of humanity forever. Even so, most of humanity would rather forget that we are not under the law anymore, that Jesus command was to love God and neighbour, that there was no longer male or female, Jew or Gentile. Humanity still cannot accept itself in all its diversity. We are all still trying to put people in nice little categories and largely ignore the ones who just don't fit in. You were created in God's image. You were not a distortment of that image. We cannot fully grasp what that even means . . . to be created in the image of the Creator. I do know that the whole of humanity in all its forms expresses at least something about the Creator. You share in that. You know it now, and through your struggle you probably affirmed such. I wish I could have told you this while you were still here. In peace R.

How I miss you my son I never would have thought that the pain would be so deep some days.The heart is the only broken instrument that works. I give thanks everyday for my many memories I have of you and the time we shared our laughter and our tears.My special 2 spirited son. I was was given so many gifts by having you in my life.I am now more loving cause I lost you I am more gentle since I had to care for you.I have more love to give away because of you to share with my family and friends. Once we loose someone we love so dearly we really know how fast things can be gone in a blink of an eye you where gone.I shall never be the same person since I lost you I am forever changed. I fell asleep for such a short time and when I woke your spirit was gone I held your cold hands kiss you sweet face saw the last tear drop in the corner of you eye. I had to say goodbye just to your body for that is the shell that housed your spirit but I knew you where right beside me as you said you would be.I just could not see you I could feel you and as my tears fell.I slowly walked away from you never to see you again.I have you in my heart and soul and nothing on earth is going to change that as long as I live. Your last few are hours are etched in my mind.Just as you birth is... Now that 22 months have gone by I do really try and understand why but as a human I still question why? I know it was your journey not mine but that does not make it right a mother should never ever have to bury her child. I miss you love I light my candle for you every night for the flame of my love for you shall never be put out.Your Mother forever and ever and beyond

brenda jones

15 years ago

thats how i feel since my 37 year old son died suddenly on 1 1 2008 how do we ever recover , every one says it takes time ,i love my family his boys but my heart is broken forever ,every day I wake I know he is gone ,I light his candle I care for his wife and his boys and my other son and daughter and grandchildren and my wonderful husband but how can I ever explain the pain that it I suffer every moment I live without him , every day i wake i ts the firt thought in my mind and heart ,iknow he wouldnt want me to feel this pain , but he would for one of his , imiss and love him so much , does the pain ever ease his loving mum Bren

School's back up again for me, my friend. At Friday's chapel service we could light candles for those who have gone before us, those who are suffering, etc. It was hard for me to light, because I trembled with being overcome with emotion. But, on the outside I can appear more like one of Star Trek's Vulcans when it comes to emotion. I thought I would break down, but then the candles would have never been lit, and that was the point to the whole ordeal. I lit a candle for you . . . for your memory. The candle was contained in a glass box, sitting on the floor. There were three candles in total. Yours was in the centre. The one to the left I lit for your mom. The one to the right, I lit for your dad. The pain that a parent goes through when they lose a child must be so great that words cannot do justice, say nothing of the loss I feel knowing you are gone. I never got to tell you I nearly lost my first child at birth. And again, I nearly lost my third at birth as well, so I can begin to imagine such pain. You are missed. It's weird, going through life now feeling ther's a part of it I'll never get back. However, thanks be to God for the opportunity to have shared some of life with you. -R.

Its 20 months now that you are not here I wish this pain of missing you would not hurt as much as it does the grief just engulfs me and my sorrow is great. Old saying time heals but not in this case. I so miss you my son I miss talking to you just even being with you like we use to watch tv did not have to say a word but you where there and I was glad now you are gone and I am so sad. The tears fall I try and hold them back but I cant I think all my tears could build a stairway to heaven to be with youy again.So till we meet again in my heart and soul you shall be forever and ever.Love you Mom

Secret 2 Wisdom Quotes by Philip Sigglekow

Susan Taylor

15 years ago

This was Benn favorite song by Celine

Sarah Mclachlan's song Answer

Susan Taylor

15 years ago

I shall never in my whole life find the answer why my son had to die

Serendipity

14 years ago

I can feel your sadness. I cried when i read what you have written here for him. Be strong!

I am missing you today I can not seem to play music for when I do it makes me think of you and all I do is cry and wonder why you had to leave I search my soul for answers but I know that life is the way it is some of us leave this earth plane when our journey is done. I wrote a poem yesterday when I was thinking of you you where my earth angel . I long to hear your voice and to fell you kiss me on the cheek like you always did and I miss you making me laugh God knows how I miss you everyday every hour and at times every minute.I love you my son.Mom To Be An Earth Angel What Can I Give Away Today If You Dont Have Abundance of Money It May Brighten Someones Day All You Need To Do Is Send A Smile There Way. If You Don't Have Material Things To Share You Can Share Your Laughter Your Energy Your Spare Time And Your Caring Heart To Brighten Someone Day Written By Susan Szabo August 18.2009.

You know, there's so many things I can recall, but in my mind it all jumbles together so I'll use a question to focus. What do I miss most? It's what I always missed . . . your humour and your ability to recall a situation and shape it and mould it into this huge story. Not just any story. It was hilarious the way you could retell something. I got your humour . . . probably because mine was so similar. It still is, and so few people get it. With you I could just say a few words and we'd understood what the comical aspects were of what I was talking about. (or what you were talking about) To this day it's hard to find someone like that. I have to set the stage and literally spell out to others what I mean . . . and the humour could be seriously compromised. I miss your laugh . . . the little laugh . . . the sarcastic laugh, the evil laugh. Just thinking of all the laughs we had makes me smile. And what about the role playing or imitations of certain people? I still do that, and at least those around me get that aspect of my humour. I've heard some songs recently that remind me of those days. If I could talk to you face to face I could see your eyes roll when I tell you Aurora made a cover of Love Resurrection at the end of 2008. And then you'd say, "You're still stuck on that song?" and then I'd explain that I'm not and you'd say "Yes,you are" and I'd say "No, not really" and you'd repeat yes you are about 20 zillion times to which I would respond each time in the negative. And, then, without warning, you'd emphatically proclaim, "Yes, you are! Just admit it already" And I would just to shut you up. Of course, we'd be laughing (or trying not to) over this nonsense and you'd continue to tell me over the next several hours and days that I am really stuck on that song (when I'm not). Honestly, we were the original show about nothing long before Seinfeld hit the scene. All our money making ideas we'd think up, and this one totally flew over us. I miss your friendshp. We were best friends for three short years. But those years had an impact. I have and always will carry those good times with me. Richard

Well today is your brother birthday he is 38 you would have thought that you would not be here I really miss you its seems the hardest at times like this. I think of you so many times in the day I have so much to tell you about . You have little nephew Morgan is sweet I know you would be so proud to be an uncle we thought this would never happen but it did. But nothing in this world well ever take the place of you and the emptyness I feel you where such a gift to me son now and only now do I understand how much you loved me.No one in this world is as lucky as I am to had you for a son. I wish I could hold you and feel you kiss on my cheek that is never to be again in this life all I have now is your memorries of a time gone by but never to forget the joy's and sorrow's of your life I am blessed that I got to share that with you. I was there for your 1st breath and your last one as well even with all the pain and sorrow I have I would never change one thing about you and me I have no regrets only one that I can not see you now but I know you are here you are my day time star and my evening angel to guide my life.I am your mother in this world and beyond you can have many friends many wives or husbands but you only have one Mother and this you alway knew and you treated me that way I am so blessed to be your Mother no wonder I miss you so.Love Mom.

It's still difficult to put my thoughts into words. I had no idea. When you passed on I was in Madagascar. The trip got me reflecting on life . . . on my life, too, and I began wondering where you were, what you were doing, now that you were all grown up. I guess it would have been too late to search you out even then. The past few months I really wanted to make contact. I had things I wanted to tell you. I still do. But now my eyes just well up because you're not here, and I will have to deal with that. I feel like a piece of me has fallen off somewhere now. I only heard of your passing on July 2/09, pretty much 18 months after the fact. I wonder how you felt those last months. I wish I would have known. Only days after hearing of your passing, the family and I were playing mini-golf at the mall, when, there before me, was Merle Norman. It hit me hard then, but discovering your tribute hit much harder and has (as you know) initiated the grieving process. I hope your okay with me writing. I contacted your mom first to see if I could start writing. I hope you know I am thankful to have known you. I'll share more memories later. I know this isn't really a memory, so I'll leave some words and phrases and pick up there later. I wish I could talk about who you are, rather than who you were. I wish now I would have contacted you earlier. You could have taught me alot. I'm sure your struggle was not easy. Okay, I'm still blabbing. Here's some key words that come to mind from being high school friends: Merle Norman (of course!) and her foe (or friend) Electric Blue. Lucky Fish Wheel of Fortune 435 (I think) Rosewood Drive The infamous parties with the slightly more famous car rallies. Henry's Pizza Hut (wanna go for caufffeee!?) I miss you. A part of me always has. Oh, the fun we had, the laughs, the more laughs, the trips to Winnipeg yelling out the window, "We're from Steinbach!" You will be remembered. your old friend Richard

Reflections in a Silver Ball A million tiny mirrors Fragments of memories A first step A first kiss A first realization A first tear A million tiny mirrors Casting tiny lights Like a thousand silver stars In each direction Touching everyone and everything In a fragment of a moment A moment to keep A moment to throw away A moment to cherish A moment to remember A moment with no fear A moment of love A million tiny mirrors Like each fragment of my soul Wanting to escape from the ball And shine upon everything and everyone Yet, still, wanting to hold on And not come unglued from the whole A million tiny mirrors to see my reflection Spinning and whirling in the sunlight Displaying the whole of me like a trillion scattered stars Along some undiscovered galaxy Knowing that I am and always will be Because each fragment is part of the whole Written by Beverley © for Benji Jr.

How I miss you no words can say a mother love is so strong is binds us even now I know it is Easter and when ever there is a special day I think why are you not here. I read you poem you wrote and I look up to sky and know that you are watching over me.I shall love you forever and beyond Mom. April 12-09

Happy Birthday my sweet boy you would have been 40 today who knew that when you where born you would not be here to celebrate with me. I also know your brother miss you alot.I know that if there is a heaven you are having a wonderful party with you grandparents and you aunty you are not alone and nor am I cause I know in my heart that you are with me always.Your Loving Mother Foever and Beyond

When you feel a gentle breeze Caress you when you sigh It's a hug sent from Heaven From a loved one way up high. ♥. ♥.♥. If a soft and tender raindrop Lands upon your nose They've added a small kiss As fragile as a rose. ♥.. ♥.♥. If a song you hear fills you With a feeling of sweet love It's a hug sent from Heaven From someone special up above. ♥.. ♥..♥.

Where has the time gone it is 14 months or 60 weeks and in days 423 was the last time I saw your face touched you kissed you how I miss you.I wish I could talk to you I know you are by my side you told me you would be.You are like the light through the clouds You where my sunshine here on earth now you are that and more I just can't see you is all.I love you Benji forever and ever and beyond.Your Loving Mother.

We are connected my child and I by an invisiable cord,not seen by the eye. Its not like the cord that connects us till birth, this cord can't be see by any on earth. This cord does it's work right from the start, it binds us together attatched to my heart. I know that its there, though no one can see, the invisible cord to my child and me. The strength of this cord is hard to describe, it can't be destroyed, it can't be denied. Its stronger than any cord man could create, it withstands the test and can hold any weight. And though you are gone, though you are not here with me, the cord is still there but no one can see. It pulls at my heart i'm bruised..i'm sore but this cord is my lifeline as never before. I'm thankful that god connects us this way a mother and child, death can't take away.

I miss you so much my son I had a very hard day yesterday I know your birthday is coming soon you would have been 40 come march I do not know why you had to leave us but you did,we are planning to come together as a family to celebrate your birthday to share our joys and our sorrows but mostly to remember you and how you loved birthdays as much as me.I hope I am able to do this help me and guide me I know you are always by my side.Love you forever and beyond your loving Mother.

Benji how I miss you you and I where always so close even as a child you always would help me unlike your brothers so it is any wonder why I miss you so.I think back to all the times we had I was so blessed to have you.I think of you a million times a day I dream of you I know people say he is in a better place but that does not make it any less painful but I do know you are right beshide me you said you would be.one year plus a month you have been gone.Love you forever and beyond your loving Mother.

At the rising of the sun and at its going down we remember then At the blowing of the wind and the chill of winter we remember them At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring we remember them At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of the summer we remember them At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn we remember them At the beginning of the yearand when it ends we remember them As long as we live they too will live for they are a part of us as we remember them When we are lost and sick at heart we remember them When we have joy we crave to share we rememeber them When we have decisions that are difficult to make we remember them When we have achievements that are based on theirs we remember them As long as we live they too live for they are a part of us as we rememeber them The picture I am posting is from Benn camera he took it at his brothers wedding in july 2007 one of the last pictures he took He is gone but not forgotten Love you Benji forever and always your Mother .